So, I have been on the Nutrisystem D program for almost two weeks now and I am pleased to say I am down 3 pounds! It has been a bit of a struggle though because my blood sugar levels have been more on the low side. Especially when I am work which isn’t what I want to happen. So, I am going to have to keep using trial and error when eating the foods and checking my blood sugars A LOT! Almost 12 times per day is an understatement at this point. I work with Gary Scheiner over at Integrated Diabetes and he is wonderful with figuring this stuff out.

Anyway, I have noticed a couple of things with the foods I am eating on Nutrisystem D. There aren’t huge post-prandial spikes, at my two hour mark after eating. It is holding steady in the 120-150 range and I have never had post-prandial numbers like this EVER! I add in fruits, veggies and dairy with each meal and all of these things combined is not only making me full but giving me more energy throughout the day as well. Ya know the good ol’ food pyramid I guess someone knew what they were talking about with that haha.

I feel like I am back to basics and learning how to eat healthy again. This past weekend I didn’t have a couple of nutrisystem meals because Big M and I went out but, I used my Nutrisystem going out guide and honestly I found myself finding it so helpful.  I added in more salad and veggies instead of carbs and felt more satisfied and my blood sugar didn’t spike. Which is a huge plus!

The tools I am learning in such a short amount of time are things I hope to keep using throughout the next couple of months and hopefully I will get to my goal. Until then I will keep doing what I am doing and try not to stress too much if I don’t lose anything!

Baby steps…

Follow me on twitter: ginacaps

Hashtag on twitter for the Nutrisystem D 15: #NSDiet15

**Nutrisystem is providing their program free of charge for my participation in the program. All views expressed are my own.

I was having a conversation tonight in instant messages with my cyber-momma and told her I made a post about my first day on nutrisystem and how my blood sugars were better in just one day. Obviously, because I was more proactive and writing everything down like a good little diabetic. I am always in a better mood when my BS is better. You feel less a failure when your blood sugar log is below a 120 all day.

Anyway, she read the post and returned to back to the IM box and said can I offer you a suggestion? I said YES. Of course I would say yes right? I am a firm believer in constructive criticism.

“When you look in the mirror and feel like cringing, try to notice what is beautiful about you. Being kind to you, will help you get to your goal.”

Being kind to me, myself, and I thought? For what? I don’t deserve to be nice to me until I have perfect blood sugars for more than one day.

I don’t usually look at myself in that way but, maybe she is right. Can thinking differently about myself actually help me get to my goal of losing weight and feeling great while doing it?

I don’t know. All I can think about since she said that to me are things I know I am not good at in my life. How do you turn bad thoughts into good? I guess this is how you get to this point in the first place right? Gaining weight, bad a1c’s and self pity, blood sugars out of range because you don’t have self control and then you turn to other things for comfort. Your life heads into a downward spiral that completely goes out of control and it takes forever for you to see the light at the end of the tunnel.

When do I finally say Hey, Self!! Wake up! You are worth it, you can do this!

How the hell do you get to that point??? I dunno.

All I know is when I finally think I can do something to help ME, I do it for a while and then it turns into, Oh, I will just finish this tomorrow, I will start that diet on Monday. Maybe I am just set-up for failure. Who knows.

Hopefully from this point forward things are going to change for the better. I guess we shall see.

Have you ever looked in the mirror and just felt like cringing? That’s exactly how I feel every time I look at myself lately. Over the last year I have gained so much weight due to trying to get my a1c down in preparation for pregnancy. I really feel as though my a1c will never be good enough. While I know that my BS numbers have been considerably better, the lb’s have been raising to the point where I am becoming self-conscience!!! The weird part is that I have not changed my eating habits since my diagnosis 10 years ago. But the weight just keeps packing on. What gives? Seriously????? I can’t take it anymore!

I am not really sure what is going on with my weight but, something needs to give before I weigh so much that it won’t be safe for me to try and even get pregnant. I know that I may be over-reacting and that I am not obese, but my current weight is making me a bit uncomfortable in my own skin. I don’t want to be a rail-thin skinny minnie, just a better weight for my height, maybe drop a few pounds so i can be on my way to pregnancy. I feel as though I am becoming desperate on so many levels.

And with that, a knock on my internet door, just at the right moment! Out of the blue I was contacted by Nutrisystem to be a part of their Blogger 15 program! It was like they knew I was at my witts end! After filling out some questions and a doctors note, they picked me as one of the people they will be sponsoring for the next 3 months. I will be receiving 90 days of complimentary nutrisystem food from the Nutrisystem D women’s program. In case you don’t know what that is, it is a weight loss program designed specifically for people with diabetes. They have over 130 gourmet style entrees for all three meals and you can also add in fresh foods as well. All of the food is on the low-glycemic index which will hopefully help keep me feeling full and keep my blood sugars in check.

In return I will be blogging once per week about my weight loss journey. The best part of this program is that they have accepted me as a Type 1 diabetic. I have tried to use other weight loss plans out there which do not let people with type 1 join, so kudos to them for allowing me to take part.

I have already received my first month of food, which also includes a meal planner and an on-the-go meal planner and dining-out guide. I started today and had great blood sugar results already!! Score!

This is what the shipment looked like, it includes: 28 breakfasts, lunches, dinners, snacks and desserts.

The meal planner (below) is perfect for me to check what I ate during the day as well as keep a log of what time I checked my blood sugars and the result.

Hopefully, this, along with exercise, will help get me on the right track to being healthier as well as lose some weight for a healthy pregnancy. Please follow me on my journey to lose weight and be sure to share your weight loss tips and tricks with me on what has worked for you!

Hashtag on twitter: #NSDiet15

**Nutrisystem is providing their program free of charge for my participation in the program. All views expressed are my own.

In my fantasy cured life this is how I would celebrate…

First, I would  make out with my husband, then probably Brett Michaels and Wilfred Brimley because it seems like the right thing to do… Then I would probably cry and scream with my family and then…

I would buy a huge giant GINORMOUS warehouse to mimic what Willy Wonka’s Chocolate factory looked like except better and invite everyone I knew and have a kick-ass carb zoned party. (because miraculously I would have so much money from not having to pay all of the copays at doctors visits and out of pocket expenses anymore! Yipee, so I would be rich!!)

I would have the oompa loompas and the gang, but they wouldn’t do any crazy sh*t to the ex-diabetics (oh excuse me, I mean people formerly known as diabetics, wait no we don’t like the term diabetic… we are formerly know as people that used to live with diabetes) Oh who cares this is my dream anyway! and we are cured so call it whatever you want! Please note: this is a dream sequence, because I don’t know if their will ever be a cure…

Ok, back to MY DREAM. My oompas would sing and dance their crazy rhymes but, serve you lemonade and chocolate milk and ask you if you want more carbs on your plate? And if you started counting carbs you would have to do a keg stand of lemonade with extra sugar…

In the middle of this crazy candy land, it I would have a chocolate river that could part into strawberry and vanilla at the end… in case you don’t like chocolate and then it would take you to a candy farm where their would be an edible field of every single candy bar or candy you can think of. Yes, and when it rained in there it would be skittles, and different clouds would have a different flavored bag… Oh you know original, wild berry, smoothie, sour and tropical will be available in the summer days when I turn the farm into a beach setting.

Oh and yes I would have everything edible and the everlasting gobstopper would make an appearance too. Lick the walls and all that too…But none of that fizzy pop, because I don’t wan’t people floating into the ceiling fans…Maybe Gene Wilder could make an cameo at my party (is he still alive?) And we would have a lot of celebrity guest there too for entertainment… My party would also have a bubble machine maker blowing out bubbles that tasted like Cherry Ring Pops…

Husband shakes me... Gina wake up…Oh well it’s good to dream!!

Sometimes it feels like your day starts with a drawer full of diabetes stuff…

You search out what you need for that particular day…

First, you take the CGM Sensor out of the bag…

and place it into the sil serter…

then rip open an alcohol swab …

and prepare the area…

Fan the area dry…(this is a poor attempt at trying to fan the area in a pic)

Then get ready to inject… one-two…

Three!!

Pull out the needle…

Insert the transmitter…

Place the IV3000 tape…

Ta Da!!! All done…

These are my diabetes snapshots from today, tomorrow may be different…

Let’s get physical, physical, I wanna get physical!!

I thought it was fitting for today’s post to have Olivia Newton John singing Let’s Get Physical.

Ok, Now shut that off. Sometimes you really need some motivation but, I don’t think that song motivates me at all. LOL Maybe the guys in the video with the tighty whitey’s do! ummm… wrong blog post! haha

Anyway, I have written about my gym workouts and how they frustrate me to no end because I ALWAYS end up LOW! But let’s get physical (Great, now that song is stuck in my head) I mean serious! I really don’t enjoy going to the gym. If I could just stay home and do something else like… watch tv, eat something, go on the internet, talk on the phone that would make me very happy.

I can come up with any excuse in the book not to go, and pretty much anything can distract me from going.

Oh look over there! a pretty bird!

So thank goodness I have my husband who works out every night to pull me there with him, and tell me why I need to go. I try going at least 3x per week even with all of the distractions and my heavy work schedule. Some weeks are better than others that is for sure!

When I actually get to the gym, I am ok and feel good when I leave or until my blood sugar drops during or after the workout then I curse and scream! Then its like everything I just did was for nothing and I get really discouraged. I am trying keep my weight down as well as my blood sugars although at times it seems impossible! Going to the gym has given me positive affects like better blood sugars in result my a1c level went down from an 8.3 to 7.7 in three months! Sometimes when you are trying so hard to get all of these things down and then you are still the same weight and your blood sugars are still all over the place it definitely gets you down. But, you can’t give up!

I know what the benefits of exercise are and that is why I go. I know I am doing my body good. So I keep on keepin’ on and try the best I can even though I hate it. I do it for my health and that is all I can do.

Let’s be honest to keep your blood sugars stable you do need to eat a certain amount of carbs at each meal. But the kind and amount of carbs you eat are the key factor. bla bla bla

Ugh borrrrrrring! (See food pyramid.)

We all know that anything and everything that tastes good is the enemy! Right? At times I just want to be on the opposing team dammit! Eating carbs until I can’t bear to eat another piece of that wonderful carb deliciousness. Bread, Pasta, Pizza, Chinese food, Snickers, Potato Chips, Ice Cream, Candy!!! The list can actually go on for days…

Yes!  Bring on the carbs! Carbs are your friend!!

Ummm… No!

As a person living with type 1 diabetes that really isn’t the ideal diet so, what’s a carb addict to do? Well, when I get the carb craving of death rumbling in my tummy I try sticking to eating them moderately.

Moderately, ugh yea right! At times it can feel as though you can’t do it. In these difficult times you need self control, (step away from the donuts!) because once a carb touches your tongue it may be hard to back away from another piece. We are human, we like food (correction: I like food) Do I want to limit myself? Probably, not… But I have to!

Why?

Because, I want to be as healthy as I can so that I will feel better, be healthy and live longer. Things in my life have changed I got married, and now we are thinking about having a child. So, everything I eat and drink I have to know how the carbs will impact my blood sugars, so I will be better prepared for pregnancy. I need a lower a1c to be in baby range and at this point I am doing all I can to get there. A lot of the problem for me is remembering to bolus for a meal. So, with the help of my husband, doctor and CDE, I have gotten much better with my blood sugar control over the course of the past couple of months. Eating better carbs that won’t have a high post-prandial number, exercising regularly, going to the doctor for my monthly checkups and logging. (Ugh, the logging…that can be a whole other blog post discussion!)

So right now instead of going for that extra piece of bread, or calling out for chinese food, I opt for a healthier choice like leaner meats, fruits and veggies.

Depending on where you are at in your diabetes care or what your personal goals are, the teeter-tottering between eating carbs or limiting them will always change.

So today, carbs are my foe, but a couple of months from now they may be my friend again. Until then, the carbs I love so much, will be on the back shelf locked up until they are safe to come out and eat!

Wow so, I have been thinking about who my biggest supporter is all day and I really can’t come up with just one person. I have seen this in many posts today.

Your parents are there for you when you want to just give up. They give you the strength to go on through their unconditional love. Your siblings are there for you when you are low in the middle of the night and come to the rescue with a huge glass of orange juice. Your friends are there when you just want to hang out and forget about having diabetes. Your diabetes team is there to let you know that diabetes is a huge pain in the ass and they are an email or phone call away.

All of the D-OC and my internet pals who are always there to just understand. My cyber-momma who always knows the right things to say to me when I am frustrated.

And don’t forget about the husband that never makes me feel as though I am sick. The person that loves me for me and looks past me having diabetes.

There are so many people that touch my life, some have diabetes, and other do not but they all support me in some way shape or form and their are too many to list.

We all know that diabetes can sometimes feel like the end of the world but with this huge support team behind me I know I can accomplish anything!

So thanks to you all of my supporters you will never know how much I love you.

This blog post is not yet rated. Proceed with caution…lol

This is Day 2 of Diabetes Blog Week. Check out the other participants!

When you are low in the middle of the night it goes something like this (below), and this is how I would love to treat a low everytime!

Picture this: You wake up in the middle of the night around 3am, you are shaking, and your shirt is soaked like you just got out of a dunk tank at the carnival. Your eyes are half open, and you roll over to get your glucose machine in the dark… and realize that you can’t find your glucose machine. You don’t turn on the light, even though you know you should. You stand up but, fall right back onto the bed. You are disoriented and confused. You figure out where the night stand is, and rummage through all the stuff on it to find your test strips. You open your test strip bottle and put it on the night stand, then you find your lancet device, but you knock your open bottle of test strips onto the floor. You don’t really care because you have one in your hand. Then you find your monitor and realize you don’t have the light on. You still don’t try to turn it on, instead you find your phone to use the light from it to see what you are doing. You finally test, and your blood sugar is 40. Your heart is really racing now, and you need sugar fast so, you stumble over everything in your house to get to the fridge. (not realizing that you have stuff to treat your low on your night stand) You open the freezer and eat some ice cream and maybe stick your fingers into the cool whip too, then you open the fridge and try drinking and eating everything from the top shelf down to the veggie trays. Then you head over to the cupboard to get some crackers with peanut butter. You are possessed by a low blood sugar at 3am, and can’t control yourself. After 15 minutes of binge eating you feel better. LOL And that my friends is how you treat a low!

My favorite thing to treat a low when I am not half asleep: Skittles, hands down. Taste the rainbow.

If you want to be guilt free and treat your low fast, buy these: Glucose Liquid Shots!

The ones I get from my pharmacy come in Berry blast and Lemon Lime. They are pricey though at $2.99e.  But, for me it is so worth it! I really can’t stand glucose tabs with a passion. Glucose tabs make me gag every time I have to chew them, so one day my mom came home with these from the pharmacy and I haven’t turned back since. I honestly love them so much! It brings me up super quick… less then 10 minutes without any rebound high like the above story!

I shared a bottle of liquid glucose with someone at the mastering your diabetes program last year in Miami who was having a low blood sugar, and she agreed that it brought up her blood sugar rather quickly and tasted great. I highly recommend them!

I usually find them at CVS, Walgreens and Target.

The ones I get look like this:

See my Day 1 blog post here.

This is going to be difficult because I haven’t blogged in a long time due to a bunch of different things going on in my life but, I will try my hardest to get through this blog challenge from Karen at the Bitter-Sweet blog! Maybe it is the inspiration I need to get back to blogging!

Today’s post is A day in the life…with Diabetes and here is mine!

6:30am - I usually have to be at work by 8am so I will set the alarm for 6:10 but, I will not actually wake up until I do a couple of snoozes on the alarm clock, followed by my husband at 6:30am pushing me on my arm to get my lazy but out of bed, I will wipe the crust from my eyes and check my blood sugar, If I am high I will bolus, If I am low I will chug down some juice…then I will pop my thyroid medicine into my mouth and head on over to the shower. (which I will not give you details on)

6:48am- I know this sounds weird but, every time I get out of the shower it is 6:48am even if I go in the shower earlier. (Does that happen to you?) I brush the teeth make them all sparkly, exit the bathroom and start flipping on all of the lights to get my hubby up, head over to the bed, give him a wake up kiss and get dressed.

7am- At this point I am trying to rush to do my hair, makeup, change my pump if I need to, get my lunch ready because I didn’t do it at night, try to eat breakfast, check my blood sugar again and bother my husband with some ridiculous song I am singing. All before leaving the house at 7:15am. Which is usually like 7:17-7:20am Gina time. LOL

7:11am - husband pops in some kind of smartone’s breakfast in the microwave for me and I scream over to ask what the carbs are while blowing my hair or curling my lashes. Could be either or…He tells me, then I bolus it into the pump.

7:15-17ish - We finally get out of the house, while trying not to forget anything. I make sure I have juice in my lunch bag and pocket book in case of a low at work. Husband hands over my breakfast and I start eating it out of the door. We lock up and keep moving LOL

7:20-25ish - I have to drive my husband to the train before I get to work, but, we have to make a quick stop to the deli to get a much needed coffee after all of the rushing I just did LOL. (It would help if I could just get up a little earlier, I know!) I get into the deli, say good mornin’ to the deli clerk because she knows me, make my delicious coffee, pay, get back to the car so hubby can make train. BTW: Most of the time I will forget to bolus for my coffee .

7:25ish - Husband gets to train with plenty of time, we kiss goodbye. Have a nice day said to both, and I love you’s are said! LOL

7:54am- I get to work, put all of my stuff away. Check my blood sugar to make sure I will be coherent while speaking to people. If I am low, I will down glucose. I won’t bolus a correction for another hour if I am running high because it will be too soon. Then off to work!!

10am- I check my blood sugar to see where I am at from breakfast. Sometimes I will be right on and others I will be too low or too high depending on what I ate. I will adjust accordingly. Most of the 10am checks are high because of my lack of remembering to bolus for coffee and/or breakfast because I rush so much in the morning!

12pm - Lunch is finally here and I am usually starving!! I go to the fridge and take out my lunch bag which always consists of a smart one’s something or other, a jello chocolate pudding (13c) water, juice in case I need it and a glucerna. Knowing the exact carbs during my meals at lunch helps me to keep my blood sugars in check. I will count up all of the carbs and take a bolus and correction if needed.

2pm- I will now check my blood sugar to see where I am at after lunch. Again, same thing from the two hours after lunch, I could be right on, or too low or high depending on what I ate and adjust accordingly.

3-4pm - Sometimes at this point I will be seeing spots and know I am low… I check my blood sugar and confirm the low, and will have to go to the back refridgerator to get juice from my bag and sit for a good 5-10 minutes before functioning properly. I have to really control myself from over indulging into something or crying at work. These are the times of the day when I get the most frustrated.

15 minutes later - I check again to see if I am going up if my blood sugars are going up, I will head back to work, if not I will take some more glucose or juice. Rinse and repeat.

5pm - One more check before I head out for the day. I am usually starving at this point again and depending on where my blood sugar is I will drink some of my glucerna on the way home.

6pm - Yum yum, Dinner, It will consist of some kind of protein, veggie and carbohydrate. I check before I eat the meal and bolus accordingly.

8pm- On gym nights I will lower my basal an hour before a workout. Then during the workout I will turn the basal down to 0% and an hour after a 50% basal. I always check my blood sugar before during and after a workout to prevent hypoglycemia. Although it doesn’t always work out like that! I am usually low! Which pretty much cancels out what I just did at the gym, and that really frustrates me to no end…

9pm - If I am home sometimes I will have a snack of some sort. Especially after working out. A protein usually.

10pm - I find myself very thirsty after a gym workout so I will be drinking a lot of water and checking my blood sugars more often as well, to make sure I don’t have ketones and all that good stuff.

11-1pm - Usually major food grazing at these times. My mom calls it party time LOL I try to head to bed between these times but, it doesn’t always happen. It could be much later. I work on projects, juvenation.org and catch up on my virtual friends. I give myself one last blood sugar check, before heading to bed, to give me piece of mind and then off to never never land!

Good night! and Sweet Dreams!!