If you were given the chance to go back to before you were diagnosed and had two roads to take, one was the road that leads you up to the point you are at now with all that has come with diabetes and the other will lead you to a life without diabetes, which road would you take and why?
I will explain why I asked this question once I receive a good amount of responses!! Wow, I did not expect this amount of responses…but cool! The reason for this question was that I was asked to be interviewed for a book: The Five Gifts of Illness and is about an individual’s experience prior to diagnosis, the point of diagnosis, treatment regimens and life after the initial treatment. Also, focusing on the positive transformative effects the illness had on the individual’s life after treatment.
She actually found me through my blog post November 25, 2000.
The interviewer asked a ton of questions over an hour, but her last question was the two roads question. I found it to be a great question and asked if I could ask the question in my blog, and she said yes, to thank ROBERT FROST
My answer to the question was to also take the road that led me to diabetes. I answered yes because, I feel it was a calling for me from some higher being. It was my fate in life, but, as others have said it does not define who I am.
Diabetes does suck I wont lie and I do hate it most of the day, but, without this road I have been given where would I be today? Who knows. Who really cares right? Would I have made an impact on society without it, probably not. Would I have made a website, blog, or a message board or met all the wonderful people probably not…Would I still be going to bars, smoking ciggarettes and getting drunk every weekend with my friends, Probably.
Has it given me a whole new out look on life? Yes, It has opened my eyes to learning about myself, and what I am capable of. I love the road I have been down, it has had its ups and downs. And, there are probably a million more ups and downs before my time is up. This is me, my fate, and my life, I love it! Diabetes, thyroid, depression and all.
If I had been asked the same question 5 years ago when I was first diagnosed I would have most definatly said the healthy road. Back then I was desperate and would do anything to make it go away. But, like everything else I have learned to deal with day to day life, and whatever is thrown my way and now, I will be able to conquer anything.
Bring it on!
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December 15th, 2005 at 7:20 am
I would never choose another life. I love my life. The people in my life. The places. The things I’ve done and seen and felt. I would never trade something so good, despite the drawbacks, for something unknown.
I believe that God has my life planned out, and that this disease was the best choice for helping me grow into the person I’m meant to be. I wouldn’t go against something like that.
December 15th, 2005 at 10:13 am
Given that I had a strong family history of type 2 and that I had already spent years with my wonderful type 1 husband, I would not trade this life.
Yes, I have had to make major lifestyle changes, but I know they have benefitted both of us this year to make them. Not only have I lost close to 45 lbs, but my husband has lost over 30 lbs that he needed to lose. (He gained a lot of weight after going on a Humalog/N regimen in 1997/1998, then started to lose when he went on a Humalog/Lantus regimen in Nov 2004 PLUS dealing with his newly diagnosed type 2 wife).
I want to make our thirties so much more healthier than our twenties were. (He turned 31 in October, I turn 30 in April.)
December 15th, 2005 at 11:52 am
I would stay on this path. I don’t know why God chose to give me this, but there must be a reason. Through all of this I have met many wonderful people I would never have otherwise met. I can touch and be touched through this internet in ways I never imagined possible. And, assuming the hypo’s don’t get me, I’ll likely live a longer, healthier life. I weight less, I eat better, I take better care of myself. Thanks for the offer, but I’ll keep my path. This route has a lot of wonderful scenery.
December 15th, 2005 at 2:33 pm
If I had the opportunity to change what has happened to my son, I would not hesitate to change it. I would glady take that chance. My sons diabetes has caused nothing but grief for him and me in the almost 8 years that we have been living with it. I realize that I would be giving up a lot of great things that have happened since then, including all of the wonderful people I have met and the lessons I have learned, but my kid is priority number 1. I am sure he would agree with my decision.
December 15th, 2005 at 9:22 pm
As a parent, the idea of my child experiencing pain or struggle, especially when he’s young, cuts deep. There’s just no way around it. And if I could change this for him, I’d do it in a heartbeat.
Now, that said, Joseph might give a different answer. He’s told me more than once that he’s “glad” he got diabetes because he thinks the disease has brought us closer together. However, he also tells me that he’s absolutely sure it will be cured before he hits high school…
What if it were me with diabetes? I don’t know. But, this question of “two roads” got me thinking about the loss of my mom nearly 26 years ago– shortly after I turned 18. I’d give anything to have her back, but at the same time, recognize that losing her forced me to take on responsibilitities that very much shaped the person I am now.
With diabetes, the loss of a loved one — and many, many other things — there really is only one road. We simply have no choice. And, when those placed on such a path find the strength and perseverence to travel it’s rocky course, I’d argue that none would regret the journey.
December 15th, 2005 at 9:37 pm
I would not change. I think I am a much healthier person now compared to 5 years ago. I am also so much more in-touch with my body, how it works, and how my body reacts to things. It has shaped decisions that I would not want to change.
December 15th, 2005 at 10:41 pm
I would never choose the path for my now 18 year old child, who was diagnosed at 15 months of age, to have type 1 diabetes. That said, we have made magnificent friends over the years because of his diabetes, and have learned to make the best of a less than optimal situation.
December 16th, 2005 at 6:07 am
I’d travel down a road without diabetes. I am 18 and have endured diabetes for 93% of my life. I’d like to experience a more normal life
December 16th, 2005 at 6:41 am
If I had to choose the life I have been given vs. the life I could have had, I would have to say that I would choose the path I am on. Diabetes sucks, but because of it, I have made friends who understand me and what it is like to have lows and highs and mood swings for no apparent reason. I have met people that I could not have met otherwise, from all over the world. I have found that the ties that bind (to bring out the old cliche’) with diabetes are stronger than most, and in some instances, even stronger than family. Diabetes has made me more self aware, more compassionate, and more outward looking. Diabetes is a part of me, part of who I am (never confuse this with defining who or what I am). God didn’t give me diabetes, but He allowed for it to happen to help me become who I am, and to allow me to develop my very strong independent spirit.
December 16th, 2005 at 6:50 am
I wouldn’t trade my life, my children, husband, Grandson, friends I have met since I’ve had diabetes. My life may have been void of all the good I have in it. The difficulties make us strong. But as some of you know, I have my days…….I dream (literally) of running, skiing, riding a bike. These dreams are less frequent now. My pump was twisted today, skyrocketing my blood sugars, so maybe not an ideal time to post. This is my life. D is a part of who I am. Hey, Libras have a hard time making up their mind. LOL
December 16th, 2005 at 7:03 am
I would take the same road I have been on. Diabetes has given me so much, be it friends, discipline, or a way for me to help people. Over the past 2 years, I have become more involved in the community through Team Type 1, and Camp Kudzu. It has allowed me to meet a lot of great people, who have since become friends. Through this I have been able to help some other diabetics realize how lucky they are to be diabetic, and thus take better care of themselves. I truly believe diabetes has helped me to succeed in everything I have taken part in. It helps me realize that any challenge (a good A1C) is easily accomplished when the small steps (testing, corrections, diet, and exercise) are taken. This has worked for me in cycling (top 10’s at nationals) work (Mass Mutual,) and school (UGA grad!!!)
There are many positives of this so called disease, if you have a good attitude about it. Through small adjustments rather than an adjusted life, this is an easy disease to handle. I have had diabetes since was 7 months old, and after 23 years, I wouldn’t change a thing.
Have a great day, and thanks Gina for getting us all together.
Phil Southerland
http://www.teamtype1.org
December 16th, 2005 at 7:24 am
Not to sound like a schmuck, but diabetes or no diabetes? For my daughter, you’ve got to be fucking kidding me.
I’d do anything in the world to make it go away for her.
December 16th, 2005 at 7:32 am
At first, I was going to respond by saying that both paths would be the same … thinking that all my choices in life were not based on having diabetes.
Then I thought about some(an understatement, the longer I stare at this screen!) of the choices that I have made in life … and there are many decisions that I have made BECAUSE I have diabetes. I would be lying to myself if I did not admitt that most things I have done involve a consideration of blood sugars, health insurance coverage, questioning “if” I am capable of something ….
But … would I have done things differently if I was not diabetic - I do not think so. Having diabetes makes me think twice - but if I really want to do something, I do it. I have done it. I have done some really courageous things while having diabetes, and I have done some really stupid things while having diabetes. Diabetes did not stop me from doing what I wanted to do. I truely believe that the paths would be the same - diabetes or not.
December 16th, 2005 at 9:17 am
Wow what a complex question this is! As well as one I have thought of through my 28 years of living with diabetes. I was diagnosed at age 3 and at a time where they were not sure what my life expectancy would be, there were no blood glucose meters, and very limited types of insulin. I can say that I grew up fast and in a quick hurry. I had to know much more than the normal child. However, for some reason this is what I was supposed to be challenged with in my life. There is no way that I would want to trade diabetes for another disease. You can win at diabetes, and live a near normal life. There are so many things out there far worse. I have lived a very full live which I would not trade for anything in the world, would a life without diabetes allowed for the life I have now, no probably not. So although it may sound crazy and there are days that I hate the blood sugars or changing my sets through the years, I will keep the wonderful and beautiful life I have made for myself. I have overcome many odds relative to diabetes and have a beautiful daughter, so with my strength and determination I am sure I will overcome many more. I am at this point in life happy and in wonderful health, so I will keep the card in life I was dealt. Call me crazy but I have taken something that was supposed to challenge my life and flourised from it. I have made many friends because of it, made a difference in others lives because of it, and just made the best out of the situation. It is really weird to think of life any other way. But as a whole I am ok withlife with Diabetes.
December 16th, 2005 at 12:40 pm
“If you were given the chance to go back to before you were diagnosed and had two roads to take, one was the road that leads you up to the point you are at now with all that has come with diabetes and the other will lead you to a life without diabetes, which road would you take and why?”
We can wax poetic about how we would choose the road with diabetes because we feel that diabetes has made us stronger, more noble, and that we embrace the challenge that diabetes has created for us. And this is the answer that a person with diabetes would give, because there is so much truth to that statement. Diabetes does make us strong. And fearless. And compassionate. It awards us a steely core and the chance to overcome our own mortality, in a fashion.
But I think we would be strong, fearless, and compassionate even without this disease.
We band together because we find strength in our solidarity. This shared bond keeps the demons of diabetes at bay. The complications. The depression. The frustration that even the most optomistic of us have admitted to experiencing. We volunteer our time, energy, and hearts towards finding a cure for this disease.
So to ask would I choose diabetes? The question is not “would I choose it over another affliction” or “would I choose it over my child having it” but would I - the person living with it - choose it. The question does not ask if God imposed this challenge to make me stronger, to have me make a difference. This question does not ask if I love or hate my life. It asks, if given the chance, would I choose not to have diabetes. Or would I choose this road, filled with hope leaning heavily on fear? This road of limitless success and fatal failure? Would I choose this road that had my mother not sleeping soundly at night for fear of my lows? Would I choose this road that has my boyfriend holding me close because I can’t stop sobbing during a 1/2 hour long low bloodsugar reaction? Would I choose to have my friends and family worry, when I wish they didn’t have to?
Would I choose this road?
I am not defined by diabetes. I am not owned by this disease. It has offered me the opportunity to meet amazing people and even affect lives, and it has given rise to a lifelong desire towards a cure. For all of us. I do not resent diabetes. And I do not hate my life. I have a beautiful life filled with fierce love and loud, raucous laughter. And I feel at peace in dealing with my disease, even if it does make me wildly angry at times. I am happy with my life. As a daughter. As a sister. As a lover. As Me.
But I would not choose to have it. If given the chance to change the course of my life, I would choose not to have diabetes. After 19 years with this disease and not remembering a childhood without it, I would like the opportunity to take the road less traveled by.
December 17th, 2005 at 3:17 am
Wow. I feel like I’ve landed on a planet inhabited by pod people. I can’t believe that ANYONE would CHOOSE to have diabetes. I can only assume it is an example of the Patty Hearst/Stockholm Syndrome, where the captive (diabetic) becomes sympathetic with their captors (diabetes).
I’ve had type1 diabetes for 30+ years. Thats 30 years of syringes, urine/blood tests, A1C tests, worrying/restricted in how much I can eat and when, whether I will get a low BG (”the shaky thing” as my children used to call it), whether I will get long-term complications.
And you ask me whether I would choose this path? Heck NO. NO WAY would I choose this path. How much of your life have you wasted on managing your diabetes - wouldn’t you like to get that time back??
And anyone who (pod-people like) answers that they WOULD choose a life of diabetes, let me ask you a related question: would you choose that your children would get this disease??
December 17th, 2005 at 4:34 pm
I’d choose a life WITHOUT diabetes.
December 17th, 2005 at 8:20 pm
For those who say you would not change the path, would you also not choose to be cured today and rather stay on this path?
December 17th, 2005 at 11:38 pm
Jeff, I love the captive/captor analogy.
I can appreciate the silver lining of diabetes and how it has shaped my life in positive ways. I can make the best of it, and have hope for the future. But choose it? I’m going to say no.
Maybe it’s because I just finished a painful review of our health insurance costs for the next year (which prompted a ‘can I afford this disease’? inner rant). Maybe it’s because I just started two new maintenance drugs, and experienced the ‘here’s another life long commitment’ moment. Maybe it’s because I have two kids (for whom I would *never* choose this disease) and I want every chance in life to spend as much time with them as possible.
Faced with two paths, one that has diabetes and one that doesn’t, I’d like to explore the life I would have had without this condition. I think the person I am adapts for diabetes, rises above it on occasion, and benefits from the terrific friends I’ve made because of it. But the person I am probably would have had a pretty interesting trip down the non-d path as well.
December 18th, 2005 at 12:38 am
My answer is a resounding I don’t know.
I think it’s a good thing that we don’t have to “choose” our life’s road. I mean, we make choices that land us where we are over the course of our life, but I’m grateful that life presents each us with varying challenges and struggles and victories — without these things, we’d be generic and stale.
I’m sure if I hadn’t been presented with diabetes on my road, I would have been presented with other difficulties. Playing the advocate — is the devil we know better than the devil we don’t know in this case? I don’t know. I do know that my life - and my being - has been shaped by all of the things I’ve dealt with, adapted to, discovered, encountered — and that although I might not have “chosen” a life with diabetes, I am bright enough to know that the other road in the wood would have its own trevails, traps, and obstacles.
I suppose if I were guaranteed a deadly disease-free other road, then I’d pick that road — with the hope that I’d have the same resolve to face the non-disease related challenges that were sure to face me along my way.
December 18th, 2005 at 2:29 am
I would love to have lived with having to have managed diabetes, and then to have been completely cured of it. Cop out answer? Perhaps.
There is no question about having become more self-aware and more informed as a result of having this disease. There is no question about having formed friendships and bonds from the glue of this illness. Ideally, I would love to retain all these valuable residual benefits and ditch the complications of living with it (on me and others) and the potentail longer term complicaitons down the road.
Please, God, help us find a cure!!!
December 19th, 2005 at 2:06 am
One observation I have made based on all of the comments here is the difference in attitude. I think how you answer shows a lot about how well you have accepted that diabetes is a part of your life. All of the parents of course (me included) would go back and try any other path if it meant avoiding diabetes for their children. But a good percentage of the adults who have diabetes (is it the ones who lived with it the longest or were dx’d at the youngest age?) have said that they would not change the path they are on. I think this shows that you have accepted your diabetes and you do not let it hold you back. In fact it may be that taking responsibility over your diabetes has helped you to take responsibilty over the rest of your life. The question is more than just “Do you want to have diabetes or not”. The question is “Do you like who you have become?”.
December 19th, 2005 at 9:21 pm
I can only echo Dee double E and say abso-fucking-lutely not. I no longer hold out any hope for a cure, at least not in my lifetime, and it may or may not have made my daughter a stronger person, but I sure as hell wish that she never got this disease.
December 20th, 2005 at 3:54 am
Without any doubt, I would take the road without diabetes. Diabetes has indeed shaped who I am, but frankly, we must acknowledge that no one’s life is enhanced by diabetes. Anyone who claims otherwise either hasn’t thought it through completely, or they are lying. While I appreciate those who believe that if they weren’t diagnosed with diabetes they might be afflicted with something else, perhaps even something worse.
Well, that may be true, but the fact is that there are few conditions with the absolute permanence of diabetes. I find it interesting that so many people who have said they would that leads you up to the point they are now with all that has come with diabetes have had diabetes for a comparatively short duration. Give it another 30 years and see if you still hold this opinion. You never get a break from it, you are blamed for problems caused by the disease even if they weren’t your fault, society blames you for getting the disease (even if it is Type 1 and caused by autoimmunity), no one bothers to understand the condition and even fewer make reasonable accommodations for us. For example, restaurants will gladly put a wheelchair ramp on their restaurant to accommodate people in wheelchairs, but will fight any attempt to regulate nutritional disclosure of their entrees. Sorry, but DM sucks no matter how you look at it, and it never goes away — not even for a short break. With other ailments, there is a period of intense uncertainty and suffering, but one way or another, it ends. So, in response to this question, yes, I would choose a path of life without diabetes.
December 20th, 2005 at 7:45 pm
Do not go gentle into that good night.
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.
–Dylan Thomas, 1951
Please don’t mistake my purpose in quoting this poem. I’m not implying that diabetes is going to kill us or that we are literally dying. Far from it. It’s the metaphoric sense I’m aiming for: the resounding battle of the human spirit against adversity, the refusal to surrender meekly to harm.
I was also interviewed by the author Gina describes here, for the same book. The conversation was a thought-provoking process, exploring and evaluating the gifts that have come into my life since my diagnosis. But when we reached this question at the end, I didn’t have to think twice. Emphatically, without a doubt, I would choose not to have diabetes.
I’m not about to willingly submit to a condition that causes suffering and erodes quality of life for millions of people. I can honor the gifts diabetes has brought into my life–and I do–without embracing its darker sides. And there sure as hell are darker sides.
On reflection, I’m not even willing to credit diabetes with “bringing” these gifts. The gifts have come with *my* choices about how to deal with it. The gifts have come in the generosity and strength of spirit of my loved ones and support group members and cyberpals. The gifts are in HUMANITY, not in the disease.
I believe we should all be deeply proud of our strength in adapting to the challenges diabetes has brought. In my case, those successes have given me equal confidence that I would have learned wisdom and grown as a human being had I had the opportunity to follow another life path.
I believe in a world with less suffering, particularly for children.
I believe that gifts notwithstanding, we need a cure.
I believe that we can find solidarity and strength in our shared experience while continuing to resist adversity in all its forms.
I will not, in other words, go gentle.
December 20th, 2005 at 10:17 pm
Scott, your comment is so insightful. I think it must be hard for you because to me you see the issue and other issues surround D so clearly.
” you are blamed for problems caused by the disease even if they weren’t your fault, society blames you for getting the disease (even if it is Type 1 and caused by autoimmunity), no one bothers to understand the condition and even fewer make reasonable accommodations for us. ” - this statement is dead on ! what a way to have to live and feel eh ?
So in the words of Keats- ‘Beauty is truth, truth beauty,—that is all Ye know on earth, and all ye need to know.’
Keats wrote Ode on a Grecian Urn while he was dying of tuberculosis so this quote has a connotation of pessimism for me. But at the end of the day words are poignant and beautiful !
Beth 21 yrs old - cozmo user
December 20th, 2005 at 10:18 pm
sorry - your words are poignant and beautiful !****
December 21st, 2005 at 3:55 am
Scott -
I’m sorry, but your analysis is inaccurate. There are any number of conditions — “worse” than diabetes in my opinion — with the same level of permanence. HIV/AIDS, many types of cancer, blood disorders, epilepsy — not to mention mental illnesses. At least with diabetes, you have some measure of control — however slim and tentative that measure may be. I was one of those that answered if I had to choose — and I was not guaranteed an existence free of some other physical or mental disease — I’d probably stick with the diabetes.
I think you’re dead on in your assertion that no one’s life is “enhanced” by diabetes, but I can understand how a person could think the whole thing through and be honest when they say that they would still choose a life with this disease. I would not. Again, if I could be free of this and know that there wasn’t something worse waiting in the wings for me, I’d take disease-free in a nano-second. But I don’t think it’s fair to imply that those would not take your position are lying or aren’t giving the question full attention — I have read some well thought out, honest, and well written posts all over blog-land that defend the opposing position. I don’t think those folks are crazy or stupid or that they’re not being truthful — I think they would never want to give up the life they’ve created, the person they’ve become — with these disease.
All in all — the question isn’t a fair one. There are so many underlying questions — Would you give up the friends you’ve met because of your disease? Do you think your disease has shaped who you are - and do you like who you’ve become? Are you stronger/better because of your dealing with diabetes? Is a diabetes free existence really *better* than a life without diabetes — whatever that life may hold? I think it’s difficult for some people to answer the original question without asking and answering — internally — all of those other questions… And none of them are “easy” to answer.
December 21st, 2005 at 8:46 am
I saw something on t.v. yesterday that reminded me of this blog question. I am not sure who I was watching, but it appeared to be a doctor. This person was discussing diabetes and how a life time of having the disease does damage to all of the organs … how the changes in blood sugar, over time, do this damage, and it is ‘inevitable’ that a person that has lived with diabetes since childhood will die from all kinds of complications … this person went on to promote the pump. They said that the pump most closely mimics the bodies natural ability to produce insulin.
I am not on the pump. I am not “anti - pump” - I have, until this point, felt that the pump is a method of choice for controlling diabetes. I have heard many people who use the pump quote their blood sugars, and I do not feel that their “control” is any different than mine, without the pump.
Hearing that man on t.v. made me angry, made me scared. Is he right? Will I eventually die from complications, no matter how hard I try? Was he so negative for advertising reasons (for the pump) and it just hit me the wrong way?
After hearing him last night, I certainly do not feel that my life is enhanced from being diabetic. Nor do I appreciate feeling like a guinea pig for new products. Give me the facts, don’t feed me fear to make me use products that may or may not “enhance” my diabetes. Give me a cure, damn it!
January 1st, 2006 at 12:30 am
I have to say that I never think like that. Maybe I am too much a realist, but what is…….is.
After I had my daughter, the Dr. told me that I probably shouldn’t have another pregnancy, I might not survive the next one. So I never thought about having another. I never think about what if. I deal with what is.
The best thing that we can do is accept what is, and make the very best life that we can. If we stay angry and bitter about having diabetes, before you know it, the best part of your life has passed you by and you spent it pissed, and you can never get time back.
This is my life, and I love it. I choose to make the best of every moment, No, not everything is always great, but you have to have some bad times to be able to appreciate the good ones. That’s life, not only for diabetics, but for everyone.
January 15th, 2006 at 5:27 am
There is no right or wrong answer here. Whether you are a diabetic or your child is a diabetic, everyone has different experiences with it and faces different challenges.
I’m 26 years old and have had diabetes for 16 years. I think that without a doubt having diabetes has definitely shaped who I am today. I don’t think I would be as aware and as sensitive to certain things I am, if I weren’t a diabetic. I’ve had to deal with near death experiences and had to watch my uncle suffer and die from this disease, but in the end it has made me stronger and has given me a new perspective on life….one that I would probably never get if I didn’t have diabetes. I certainly hope that a cure is found, but like others said I don’t see that happening within my lifetime. Not as long as the pharmaceutical companies continue to make millions of dollars off of the supplies and medicines that we as diabetics need to survive. I’ve accepted that this is what God has given me. No matter how much you want, you can’t change something like this. You can only take what your given and either live your life to the fullest or drown in “what might have been’s”. I think people need to pull together to try to find a cure so other generations won’t have to contemplate this question. You can’t change the past, but you can change the future.
January 15th, 2006 at 8:49 am
I wouldn’t choose either road, I would choose the road that leads me down an unknown path, because I don’t want to fear the true experience of life. But I wouldn’t be able to make those choices either way, because I will never know what a “Normal” life is. I had cancer when I was three years old, a very rare and fatal cancer, I only had a 10% chance of surviving. Now I’m almost 23. Since then I have been through so much that the life I have now is the only life I have ever known and consider to be “Normal” on my terms…in fact, I don’t believe in the word “Normal” because its just a word that people use to define what they and/or society is accustomed to. I went through development issues, kidney failure, dialysis, and a kidney transplant resulting in diabetes, circulatory problems, a blood clot, respitory complications, swelling of my lower extremeties, and so on and so forth. So to sit here and ask me that, would be to ask me whether I would have chosen long ago before my cancer, would I rather live, or die? I would rather live. Yea, I’ve had to go through a lot of stuff, and I spent most of my life in and out of the hospital, but the matter of the fact is that I’m still alive, everything I went through has defined me and made me a stronger person, and it’s all starting to pay off, I’m a successful college student engaged to be married next year. Diabetes is just another obsticle in my life, sure it may be long term, but with the right attitude, I can keep jumping those obsticles. So don’t ask me if I would prefere a life without diabetes, because I will tell you, I prefere to live. Now if I had children with diabetes, I wouldn’t wish it away, yes it would be crap and I would hate every minute of it, because no one said you had to enjoy it, but you can’t shelter your kids from everything, otherwise they’ll end up afraid to live, and if you fear life, you might as well already be dead.
January 15th, 2006 at 10:02 am
I know I would never choose for my life to be any different than it is now. I don’t think it would be worth it to give up what I’ve got to try a different life without diabetes. I’m not going to say that I appreciate having this disease, but I know that it has brought me to a place that I’m glad to be at right now, and I know that if I chose to start again without diabetes, I might never make it here. However, if I could be cured now, I’d choose that in a heartbeat! There are so many problems and setbacks and disappointments attached to this disease. I have worked so hard for the last 20 years of my life, but even still, diabetes seems to knock me back effortlessly. If I could somehow be cured so that I could live out my future as healthily as many of my peers, I would be so greatful and so overjoyed. I hope it will happen someday :\
January 15th, 2006 at 10:13 am
That said, I don’t understand why people are so angry about everyone else’s opinions. It’s YOUR life, and if you feel that it could be improved if you could start over and never have this, fine, and if you would not want to risk giving up what you have, and would like to stick it out, thats fine too. I don’t think either answer is wrong, and I do hope for a cure, I’m young (20) and maybe if I keep trying hard enough I’ll be here for it (depending on how many more car accidents and hospital trips there will be, of course, lol), and I don’t see anything wrong in that. Hope is mostly what keeps me around, and I don’t think you guys should try to knock someone else’s choices or hopes. It could have some devastating consequences.
January 15th, 2006 at 12:38 pm
I grew up in a household where diabetes was already an issue - my father is Type 1 - and was diagnosed at 14 years old. I can remember that my father had a bit of trouble coping with my diagnosis - I guess there was that element of responsibility because of the heredity issue. As if he had any power over it!
I was also fortunate that it wasn’t a foreign concept to me, because I grew up with Dad having it.
But I remember the night he gave me the blood test that turned out to be HI, and sitting in my bed, thinking, okay, I can handle this. There are many far more serious diseases or conditions to have. It could be worse - AIDS, cancer…any number of things. At least this “disease” is something whereupon the success of dealing with it vastly comes down to what *I* do…it is, for the most part, in my control. It’s not the most logical thing for quite a bit of the time - and sometimes things go awry even when I am doing “the right thing”, but the power is, predominately, in my hands as to how it affects my life.
I don’t think it’s fair to say people are “pod people” because they comment that they would choose to have it. In all honesty, if given the choice, I doubt very much anyone would. I certainly wouldn’t!
And I think what Jon said: One observation I have made based on all of the comments here is the difference in attitude. I think how you answer shows a lot about how well you have accepted that diabetes is a part of your life. is very true. We’re talking about something that can never happen - you can’t go back and, naturally, knowing what we know now invariably has an impact on our response. Everybody’s experience is different and if someone has experienced a life that has been “better”, in their estimation, as a result of having diabetes - then of COURSE they would answer in that way. Not quantum physics! And an answer that, I think, shows that it IS possible to still live a fantastic life, in spite of being a diabetic. Fantastic! 
I stand by what my 14 year old self thought when she was diagnosed. It could be better. But it could be a WHOLE lot worse, too.
Emma.
January 16th, 2006 at 5:09 am
Just to clearify, if anyone thought my previous responce was a result of anger, it was not, I was just stating my personal thoughts/feelings. Everyone is different, and has different light to shed on this subject. I never once said that everyone should feel the same way that I do, and I don’t expect them to. Given the life I’ve had, I don’t think diabetes is the worse thing that could ever happen to you, and I don’t think it’s fair for people to say woe is me my life, or my child’s life is over because they have it. But again, that’s just me, if people choose to feel that way, then that’s just how they choose to feel.
I choose to accept it and move on with my life, because my life is not over, wollowing in self pitty isn’t going to get me anywhere except deeper in my own pit of dispair, so by choosing to accept it, I feel that I can live my life just like any one else, the only difference is that I have to face daily obsticles of high or low blood sugars and having to control them, and by doing so I am taking control of my life, a life I choose to live regardless if I have a disease, I will not let it defeat me, I will let it define me and shape me into a stronger person though. Would I prefere a life without diabetes, sure, but in all reality, I don’t have that choice.
But if I had to choose, that would mean for me a life of diabetes, or a life of dialysis because I wouldn’t have gotten diabetes if I didn’t choose to have a kidney transplant because my diabetes is a result of one of my antirejection medications. Yes I would do it all over again, the transplant and everything, because dialysis was a living nightmate (I was on dialysis for 6 months prior) in comparison to what I have to put up with now with the diabetes. I was up every hour in pain (I had home dialysis), I never ate more than speck each meal because it made me severely loose my appetiete, I lost 40 pounds and was severely underweight, I missed a lot of school, I couldn’t do anything because I had to do treatment every day starting at a specific time which lasted all through the night, I wasn’t free to go anywhere (not even a foot from my room) until it was done the next morning, I was free fro about half a day until my next treatment. So if I wanted to do anything with my friends, they had to come over to my place, I couldn’t go out to the movies, to the mall, or anything, except maybe on the weekends, but because I was so weak from it, I didn’t have the energy to do anything. Given the state of my kidney failure, which was 98.9% percent, both hardly functioned about 1% each, so dialysis would have only kept me alive for so long. So if I had to choose between a life without diabetes, or a shortened life on dialysis, I would choose diabetes.
But if I could go all the way back and choose a life without cancer and everything that was result of it, I may be very compelled to choose a life without any of this, but stopping to think about it all, I really don’t think I would, because my life probably wouldn’t have turned out this way, and I am quite happy with the way its turned out. Sure, I may have been taller, more devoloped and not so young looking as I am now (I’m 4′10, and my body is chronologically three years behind in growth and development), but then I wouldn’t be me. I would probably have turned out to be like all the people I disrespect, people who take life for granted, people who pick on and make fun of people like me, people who don’t appretiate how easy they have it. I probably would have never met my wonderful fiance and I would never appretiate what love really is, I would be with some selfish boy in a delusional relationship that only lasts a couple months unfortunately like many of my friends still go through, because they have no concept of self respect. Luckily none of them have become teenage, single mothers like my brother’s friend’s ex girlfriend, which has put her whole family in financial and emotional jeopardy. I fear turning out like that more than anything, even more than having a life of disease and complications. So thinking about it, no, I wouldn’t choose the road that leads me to a life without diabetes. Again, that’s just me.
My apologies for writing yet another, long responce.
January 17th, 2006 at 5:26 pm
I’d change in a heartbeat. Find a cure for Diabetes!
February 5th, 2006 at 11:43 am
narrativeenigma
2006-02-05 06:02 am UTC (link)
I just got done reading all of your posting’s. I can’t begin to explain how I feel, but it does help me have a better insight to my daughter and what is going on in her head. I am not a diabetic, I will never know what it is like. I know that it is terrible, I know that it is life altering, I know it is a Royal Pain In The Ass. But I only know this from living with my daughter, she has been diabetic for 13 years. I also know how dangerous it is, I know it can kill. Does anyone out there know a “succesful diabetic”? If so, how do you do it? What is the turning point? How can I help my daughter? It is very painful being a diabetic, it is also very painful being a parent and watching your child slowly destory themselves. I cannot be a diabetic for her, if I could, I would in a heart beat. I do not want to outlive my child, I do not want to see her suffer in the years to come. But what can I do, I have done all I know how over the last 7 years, but in reality, I know it has to be her who makes the decision to take care og herself. I just feel so helpless, a Mother is supposed to protect her child, keep them healthy and safe. I can do neither, I just sit and watch it happen day after day. I know how hard it is for her, I really do. The pricking the finger, checking the keytones, no sugar, no pop, no cake, no candy, always having the insulin pump attached to her like a leach, knowing that she is f’ing up her organs but not knowing how to stop herself. I know she just wants to lead a normal life and be like a regular person, like all her friends. I know how badly she wants to be a good diabetic, with all her heart. I know how terribly impossible it is for her to be a good diabetic and how damn frustrated she is with herself for being a bad one. I have seen all the shit she has gone through in her many hospital visits with DKA, her highs her lows, her puking her pain. But still…….she is my child…..I love her so much….she is killing herself. What am I to do?? Thanks for listening…it helps to get it out. I searched for a sight of Parents of Diabetic Children, but could not find one. So thanks for letting me vent. God Bless You All.
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